Blog : Holland

Ask Me Anything: Childhood memories, Filipino poetry and magical Dutch paintings

Ask Me Anything is a series of questions given by my friends and answered by me, Angel! If you have any questions that you would like me to answer, or if you’re just plain curious about me (because I am such a superstar), feel free to send me a message!

 

1. What’s the strongest image you have from your childhood?

I have a way of remembering memories that my closest friends would know – it’s like remembering a capsule of time complete with the colour of light, the feel of the air, the smell (and when I “see” that stamp of memory again in some future time, I will remember the old memory so crisply and almost painfully, because I can almost touch it but it’s not there..)

One of the strongest pockets of memory I have in my childhood is the rain in Manila, particularly the strong stormy ones, the kind that make the schools call off classes and send everyone home. Of course being children, this is one of the best things that can happen to us! I distinctly remember that feeling of anticipation – waiting in our classrooms looking outside, desperately wishing that they call off classes already.

In high school, we sometimes hang out for a little bit in the school canteen when classes are called off. I remember the chocolate granita I used to buy there all the time! Now when it rains heavily, I wish for that chocolate granita..

What’s even better is when I wake up to a grey, dark morning with the heavy raindrops crashing on the roof and secretly smiling to myself because more often than not, it means there are no classes for that day! I love snuggling back in the covers and enjoying the cool air from the rain. Later in the day, I’ll watch cartoons on TV – Cedie, or Heidi or The Little Princess. My grandparents still had their small carinderia downstairs then, so I’ll just go down and get a bowl of warm goto (rice porridge with meat) or sopas (creamy chicken noodle soup). It was so cozy.

 

2. With which famous personality would you most identify with?

I never really thought about it! Maybe a mixture of Kirsten Dunst, Julian Casablancas and Victoria LeGrand? And the talent of Vincent Van Gogh (but not his anxieties and luck haha). And of course, the woman who I share my birthday with: Amelia Earhart.

Amelia

In addition to being an aviation pioneer and the first aviatrix to fly across the Atlantic, she is a true women’s rights advocate. She worked with coaching women in their careers, and inspired them with her passion. She said:

Life really begins when you have discovered that you can do anything you want.
– Amelia Earhart

Amen!

3. What’s the nicest poem in Filipino and how would you translate it?

I don’t really have a favourite one, so I did some research. I came across a really nice poem from Jose Rizal, the national hero of the Philippines. It’s called Awit ng Manlalakbay (The Song of the Traveler). You can hear me reciting it here, and you can read the text of the English translation further down. 🙂

Awit Ng Manlalakbay

Kagaya ng dahong nalanta, nalagas,
Sinisiklut-siklot ng hanging marahas;
Abang manlalakbay ay wala nang liyag,
Layuin, kalulwa’t bayang matatawag.

Hinahabul-habol yaong kapalarang
Mailap at hindi masunggab-sunggaban;
Magandang pag-asa’y kung nanlalabo man,
Siya’y patuloy ring patungo kung saan!

Sa udyok ng hindi nakikitang lakas,
Silanga’t Kanlura’y kanyang nililipad,
Mga minamahal ay napapangarap,
Gayon din ang araw ng pamamanatag.

Sa pusod ng isang disyertong mapanglaw,
Siya’y maaaring doon na mamatay,
Limot ng daigdig at sariling bayan,
Kamtan nawa niya ang kapayapaan!

Dami ng sa kanya ay nangaiinggit,
Ibong naglalakaby sa buong daigdig,
Hindi nila tanto ang laki ng hapis
Na sa kanyang puso ay lumiligalig.

Kung sa mga tanging minahal sa buhay
Siya’y magbalik pa pagdating ng araw,
Makikita niya’y mga guho lamang
At puntod ng kanyang mga kaibigan.

Abang manlalakbay! Huwag nang magbalik,
Sa sariling baya’y wala kang katalik;
Bayaang ang puso ng iba’y umawit,
Lumaboy kang muli sa buong daigdig.

Abang manlalakbay! Bakit babalik pa?
Ang luhang inyukol sa iyo’y tuyo na;
Abang manlalakbay! Limutin ang dusa,
Sa hapis ng tao, mundo’y nagtatawa.

Here’s the English translation:

The Song Of The Traveler

A withered leaf which flies uncertainly
And hurled about by furious hurricanes,
So goes the traveler about the world,
No guide, no hope, no fatherland, no love.

Anxiously he seeks a better fortune
And fickle fortune always takes to flight;
A shadow vain that mocks at his desire!
For her the wanderer has plowed the seas.

Driven on by hands invisible,
Wandering from land to weary land,
Only memories to keep him company,
Of loved ones and of bygone happier days.

A tomb perhaps upon the desert
Calls him–refuge sweet of peace,–
Where, by his country and the world forgotten,
Tranquil he may sleep who knew such pain.

And if they envy this sad traveler
When he speeds so swiftly round the world,
Ah, little do they know that in his soul
Exist an aching void for want of love.

Should the wanderer turn back to his country,
And to his home, it may be, make his way,
He would find but snow and ruins everywhere,
All love destroyed, and sepulchres,–no more.

On, then, traveler, pursue your journey,
Stranger to the land where you were born.
Letting others sing their songs of love
And feel their joys, you fare on again.

And traveler, as you go, do not turn back,
For none will shed a tear to say farewell,
Go, pilgrim, try to drown your sorrow,
Because the world but scoffs when strangers grieve.

 

4. What causes instant happiness?

A Phoenix song!

Particularly this one (especially, this video!) :


Phoenix – 1901 – A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

If this won’t make you smile just a little bit, I don’t know what will! 🙂

 

5. If you were a painter, what would end up on your canvas?

I wish I could paint! Right now, I’m very attracted to Dutch Golden Age paintings, especially still life with vibrant flowers against a dark background.

Master of the Veneration of Maria 1625 - Lilies and thornless Roses in a Glass VaseMaster of the Veneration of Maria, Lilies and Thornless Roses in a Glass Vase

Abraham Mignon Still Life with Squirrel and GoldfinchAbraham Mignon, Still Life with Squirrel and Goldfinch

abraham-mignon-the-nature-as-a-symbol-of-vanitas-oil-on-canvas-79-x-99-cmAbraham Mignon, The Nature as a Symbol of Vanitas

Lille_Hospice_Comt_MarrelJacob Marrel

Jacob MarrelJacob Marrel

Jacob MarelJacob Marrel

Flowers in a glass vase, Jacob van WalscapelleJacob van Walscapelle, Flowers in a Glass Vase

800px-Jacob_van_Walscapelle_-_A_Swag_of_Flowers_-_WGA25434Jacob van Walscapelle, A Swag of Flowers

Bouquet with cat and mousetrapAbraham Mignon, Bouquet with Cat and Mouse Trap

In contrast to still life’s solid and vivid compositions, I would also paint a dreamy, almost-fading-away piece like those of contemporary Dutch painter (my favourite!) Chris Berens‘ works. I’ve never seen anything like his work before.

I interviewed him for Arts Holland a couple of years back. These photos are from his Amsterdam series. You can read the interview here and see more of his amazing paintings here.

December5thbChris Berens, December 5th

(Rendesvous At) Brug 36bChris Berens, (Rendesvous At) Brug 36

AemstelredammebChris Berens, Aemstelredamme

PolderbChris Berens, Polder

the Spinsters of OudeschansbChris Berens, The Spinsters of Oudeschans

 
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This set of questions is brought to you by my good friend Mario de Vries. Mario is a talented interior and design artist who works at Moooi Amsterdam. He loves bonfires, dreams of living in Norway someday and believes he was a sailor in his past life.

Notes from the weekend

1. Watching The Fault in Our Stars (with my boyfriend) in Holland is magic. A cosmic bonus: one of my favourite songs (Strange Things Will Happen) from my favourite band in the whole world (The Radio Dept.) played in one of the scenes, without me knowing that they are part of the soundtrack! The best surprise ever. I just love moments like that.

Me and M recorded this specific song during the time we just met. I took out my phone, he learned the chords quickly, and then we recorded it on that one snowy night. Later on, I made it into a movie which was an entry for Stockholm Shorts 2011. It was all DIY – I recorded a spontaneous Skype conversation (he was in Holland, I was in Singapore) and put the music over it. It brings back all the warm and fuzzy feelings. Aww. You can see it here:

Strange Things Will Happen from Angel Trinidad on Vimeo.

2.

“Work and leisure are complementary parts of the same living process and cannot be separated without destroying the joy of work and the bliss of leisure.” – E.F. Schumacher

3. I spent a lot of time in the sun this weekend. I saw Marloes again, after a long time! We walked around town, ate ice cream with loads of sprinkles, walked into shops to smell shampoo, and hung out at Roof Garden. We played N64 there and I beat her thrice at Super Smash Bros. Hehe!

Ice cream

4. I saw Case Mayfield play live at Roof Garden today – it was super dreamy. Then I ran into Marloes again at the Albert Heijn. We had drinks and sat in the sun with Pim at TAPE.

Case Mayfield

Marloes and me

5. A big birthday box arrived last Friday from home! It was filled with presents from my parents, one of my favourites is an old Mary lamp from my childhood. It’s absolutely beautiful- it reminds me of my mother, prayer and solemn, quiet memories.

6. Things I am loving lately: sweet popcorn, vanilla and tonka bean oil diffusers, my succulent plant in a pink pot, dogs, a crazy little goat called Jerry, cheering for my team when it wins, chocolate chip poptarts, being on Softly Sometimes and wearing my Swedish clogs. I also loved talking with my best friends on the other side of the world again, helping a friend who’s getting married with social media stuff, and Facetiming with parents. 🙂

28

A birthday weekend by the sea, making friends with gigantic seagulls and boulevard dogs. We sat by the beach with our chips, bruschetta and cola, talking about everything.

Rain and thunder calls for an afternoon at Escher in het Paleis – a dream of eternity and infinite tessellations, a man with a beard who lived and travelled in Southern Europe, reflections, chandeliers and flying fishes. The man by the door said to Mark, “Veel plezier, maar dat moet wel lukken met zo’n mooie vrouw,” (“Have a wonderful time, but that should work out well with such a lovely woman.”) I felt so special and beautiful at that moment.

At the back of the museum was the most idyllic courtyard cafe, where I enjoyed a cola and a muffin and looking at funny, angular shrubs. We took a walk afterwards, finding ourselves at the Hofvijver when sun slowly came out. A drink in a square, outside a fake art-nouveau building, we talked about distancing from ourselves and making the haziness go away. We talked about Pico Iyer and the meaning of home and standing still. There was a tender moment when you suddenly looked at me and kissed my face.

Then off to dinner at my favourite restaurant chain in Europe (Vapiano forever), it’s always such a joy eating scampi pasta. We discovered my new favourite herb (name unknown). And then we went to the cinema and saw Man of Steel (better than The Purge)! Sometimes that’s all you need: scampi pasta and a cozy movie.

The final day was spent looking at the sea, and lying on the windy beach. Feeling the sun on my face, walking towards the sea, and making a wish.

Happy 28th, Angel!

Ask Me Anything: Home, homesickness and Coke rooms

Ask Me Anything is a series of questions given by my friends and answered by me, Angel! If you have any questions that you would like me to answer, or if you’re just plain curious about me (because I am such a superstar), feel free to send me a message!

1/ How do you define home?

I made a blog post about this last year, and I think this is my working definition of “home”:

Home to me for the past years have been a psychological phenomenon, a place where you can be yourself and where you are surrounded with the people that you love and who love you. A place where the most authentic “you” can flourish, and where you have the freedom and the state of mind to create, express and just be yourself. Simply, somewhere where you can be comfortable, happy and true. It is a bit different from the traditional definition of home, which is a more physical and non-flexible entity (and most usually refers to “where you came from”). Mine is a more mobile definition, perhaps a skill I have adapted to to match the currents of my life and/or a truth that I have discovered. I believe that you can be at home anywhere.

In addition: a much older blog post circa 2009, when I was moving around from Sweden, to Spain and to the Philippines, unsure where to go next, but absolutely sure where my heart lies.

what’s on my bedroom wall: a big outline of sweden, made out of blue lace. there’s a map of stockholm: norrmalm and gamla stan and sodermalm. and a map of the tunnelbana, the green and red and blue lines criss-crossing one another. looking at them now, i realized that they don’t mean anything to me anymore.

what makes my heart leap now: the lines of your face, the way you look at me, your words, your touch.

what’s happening now: i’m falling in love with people, instead of places. finding home in a different kind of way.

To sum it up, home is a place where the most authentic “you” can flourish, and/or a place that can be found in certain special people. Since you change, and other people change, homes can change too. TA-DA! What an epiphany!

2/ What is homesickness for you? (For some reason, I think that you don’t really associate homesickness with not being in Manila. Or do you?)

I don’t necessarily associate homesickness with Manila, because I don’t really feel “at home” there. Although, I DO miss my mother and my friends, and the feeling of being part of a warm, everlasting community and being loved in a particular way, which can only come from someone knowing you for decades and seeing you grow up. I think that is something irreplaceable.  I also miss the food, of course.

Homesickness can be felt anywhere, especially for cosmopolitan people: it can also be closely related to the feeling of “homelessness”, the feeling of disconnection and dislocation. Every cosmopolite can relate to the sentiments evoked by the Kings of Convenience song “Homesick”: Homesick. Because I no longer know where home is. But isn’t that just plain loneliness in the end, when you come to think of it?

The way to combat this nasty feeling is to know and accept and internalize that you are living a different life from the majority, and home cannot just be a simplistic definition, at least not for us (stop comparing yourself to others). Home can be many places all at once, and in the hearts of the many people who love you (spread all over the world!) Get on the computer, write a letter to your best friend, skype with your mom, connect and be less lonely/ homesick!

3/ What happened to the Coke room? (Remember this room under the big Coke sign in Stockholm?)

Photo: Marthin Sühl

Jobelle visited me in Stockholm during the summer of 2010. It was a great time! I remember pointing out to her “my Coca Cola room”: a top floor apartment in the Södermalm district, close to Slussen metro station (my favourite district and favourite metro station). It is my dream apartment. It also felt so personal because I am a Coca Cola addict and a big sucker for romance. Wouldn’t it be the most romantic thing if I ended up living in Sweden, in an apartment in Söder, overlooking Lake Mälaren and the entire city, with a Coca Cola sign as my nightlight?! Ahhh.

Just like how Jay Gatsby had his own personal green light to gaze into, I have my Coke room as the symbol of my Sweden dream. A concrete, yellow-ochre and beige, neon-lit embodiment of my hopes and dreams. Something that is mine to hold on to.

I don’t know what happened to the room nor who occupies it, but I do know that my dream is still there. 🙂

Here are some pictures of me and Jobelle during her fun-filled visit! All photos by Jobelle:

4/ Will it always be Europe for you? (To live, work, grow old?)

I think so! I loved Europe ever since I can remember, and I’m really enjoying myself here. I feel that the authentic me has been given a chance to grow and flourish here. The creative scene is very good (although sometimes I feel like a certain dynamism is lacking) and I like the fact that I don’t need to be scared walking home alone at night or getting mugged while riding public transportation. I like the fact that I ride a bicycle, and so does my boss. Living in the first world leaves a generous amount of space in your head to pursue your dreams and creative endeavours.

But who knows how I will feel about Europe in the future. I mean, the past six years I was clearly convinced that it would always be Sweden. But now I’m living in Holland. Things happen in life and it’s okay to change, it just means I am human and not a robot. Who knows what the future will bring? Being open is the key.

5/ Any new projects (creative, crazy, simple, life plans, etc) that you have in mind? (We never got to do our Manila art scene critique blog!)

Right now, I am busy working with Arts Holland and I am loving every minute of it. However, in a couple of months my contract will end and I will have to find a new job by then. (Offers and job interviews are very welcome! Contact me, potential boss.)

Personal ongoing projects include DJ-ing as Ice Hotel. Life plans: a trip to the Philippines at the end of the year, and a move to Amsterdam is also on the horizon, just need to make it happen!

This set of questions is brought to you by the awesome Jobelle Tayawa. Jobelle is one of my friends from way back (1st grade?!), we rode Tita Nelly’s school bus together even if we were attending different schools. She was wearing a colourful pink and blue uniform, mine’s stark white and maroon. Fast forward to college where we crossed paths again and found a shared love for creativity, artistic endeavours, indie music and general coolness. Jobelle is currently a globe-trotting, motorbike-riding art director and 1/2 of the Bad Ass Co. See her work at http://jobelletayawa.com/

And! She is currently competing for a spot as a luxury hotel tester in Europe! Vote for Team Cool ‘n Poor, and help send Jobelle to Europe (so she can also visit me and we can have amazing adventures again!) Vote here now (and prove that you’re not a robot!)